Overcoming traumas and formulating our own awarenesses
I’m currently undergoing massive shifts in my own personal life.
I stopped talking to my immediate family about 3 months ago.
Complete no contact. Nobody.
And what has been happening is a deep uncovering, healing and transformation from healing of traumas.
Overcoming emotional abuse and neglect.
I’m reprogramming old beliefs about myself and the world, that were SO deeply ingrained into me and now, I have fallen into Trust and Surrender once again.
I’m letting go of deep fears. What if I will never see them again? Who will love and support me? AM I EVER going to find my SOUL family? What does this mean for me and our little family? Will my daughter hate me? Or will she be able to forget?
Breaking myself open AGAIN. This is what that looks like right now: “I NEED to open my heart in order to receive what I want. I NEED to be seen in who I AM in order to call in more of my tribe. I NEED to do this thing (which I’ll reveal soon) that will set my soul ON FIRE!!!”
And reconnecting the dots of my own soul and Spirit.
And in doing so, I’ve reclaimed most of my power back.
I’ve finally found boundaries that work for me.
I’ve found new ways to take care of myself.
I’ve found strength. Wisdom. And gentleness inside that I knew existed, but was covered up for fear of being seen. (The emotional neglect and abuse part.)
I was hiding underneath everyone else’s perceptions of me. Who I HAD to be in order to get my needs met for that amount of time in my life.
Now, I see.
I see all the ways in which this conditioning has hurt me.
I see the ways in which my heart had to stay closed.
And in order to move forward, and really SERVE in the way I’ve been wanting,
I’ve had to set MYSELF free!
And it took these 3 things to get there.
1) Worthiness– feeling worthy enough to receive the life I dreamed. A fun, easy going, emotionally intelligent, loving life. I had to BELIEVE with ALL of my being I was WORTH it. And I am.
2)Confidence– I had to stand STRONG in my convictions of worthiness even in the deepest darkest of times and in the thick of situations, I had to CONFIDENTLY stand up for what is TRUE for ME.
3)Self-Love– I’ve had to love ALL these unloved parts of myself. I’ve had to learn. I’ve had to SEE how my thoughts influence my reality and how I’ve played a part in EVERYTHING. I’ve had to love it. Thank it. And let it GROW. I felt WORTHY enough to do that. I felt WORTHY enough to deeply love and appreciate myself.
If I didn’t have these things, I wouldn’t have had the courage to give myself the type of FREEDOM I was looking for. The type of FEELING GOOD that I was WANTING for myself and what I wanted for us a family of three to experience on the DAILY!
And as long as I’m giving myself what I am worth, I’m GOOD. SO GOOD!!!!!!
Even in my own relationship with my husband, I can’t worry about making him happy. He has his own path to walk and if we can do it together AMAZING! STUPENDOUS!!! even.
But if I’m NOT giving myself what I am worth, then I know I will be in suffering.
I’ll fall out of alignment with my truest Self and that’s when life becomes HARD.
There multiple layers as to WHY I am so passionate about working with mothers but for the most part, it’s because I’ve been so disempowered and I have risen from the deepest of the deep, that I know what it feels like to find my own light without the love nor support of my very own family. And my mission is to reconnect us all back to that within our own conscious families.
This has ALSO required me to let go of multiple roles and rules to life that I grew up knowing.
It was the type of program running in my head that had me putting everyone else’s needs and wants before my own.
It was limiting behavior to keep me small and out of my own light.
Like I HAD to sit still in my chair when eating
I COULDN’T let myself be silly with my child and LIKE it!
I couldn’t PLAY and be happy.
And I HAD to anticipate the needs of somebody else to make them happy (the trauma of abuse)
I HAD to walk on eggshells around everybody to ensure my physical and emotional safety
I HAD to do EVERYTHING right in order to be seen as a “good girl”! (even though there was no pleasing anybody)
But those rules no longer apply here!!!
That was just what my brain was telling me.
I’m restructuring and reestablishing habits, emotion patterns and cycles that ACTUALLY serve me in my heart desires and moving forward into the light of my truth and SHOWING UP as my whole Self.
It’s not easy.
But I know anything is possible through Trust and Faith.
I am limitless!
And so are you.
You know, I ask myself everyday now “is this serving me? Or am I busy pleasing somebody else?”
We are hardwired to please others. Especially as a baby.
We have to ensure our very survival.
So as an adult it can be hard to let go of those very things that kept us going and alive for all of those years, and behaviors, patterns and cycles that no longer SERVE us as we want to reconstruct and rebuild a life that we LIKE and FEELS GOOD to US!
It can be scary, hell even terrifying to establish these new ways of being.
But that’s what it’s all about.
That’s how we evolve. THAT’S how we grow.
“What do cycles and patterns look like within your family unit? How can we identify them to move forward and do the work to break them if they are no longer serving us?” You ask.
The perfect example of this is through the movie Coco.
Coco LOVES and wants to be a musician but his family has banned ANY type of music because of the relationship Coco’s great great grandfather and great great grandmother had together.
His great great grandma felt abandoned by her musician husband and when the truth was uncovered (spoiler alert) that he was murdered, they could move on and ALL live happily ever after
But UNTIL Coco came along, everyone was in the pattern and emotional cycles of NOT allowing music within the family, at the detriment of their growth as Coco came along.
We let so much of the past inform our future.
Please, let us ALL break free from that.
To learn about how we can work together on rebuilding,
or stepping into more of your own light for yourself and your conscious family, please see me here by scheduling a FREE connecting Zoom video meeting!
Or visit the YouTube Channel or learn more on the blog about how we can get started.
Thank you so much for being here and seeing me through my own transformation.
I can’t wait to reveal more of how I’m moving forward into my light!