What Does It Take to Break Cycles and Patterns?

Overcoming traumas and formulating our own awarenesses

I’m currently undergoing massive shifts in my own personal life.

As you know from my last few emails (get on the list here) and from my YouTube “Update” vlog and from my previous blogs (the one about realigning),

I stopped talking to my immediate family about 3 months ago.

Complete no contact. Nobody.

And what has been happening is a deep uncovering, healing and transformation from healing of traumas.

Overcoming emotional abuse and neglect.

I’m reprogramming old beliefs about myself and the world, that were SO deeply ingrained into me and now, I have fallen into Trust and Surrender once again.

I’m letting go of deep fears. What if I will never see them again? Who will love and support me? AM I EVER going to find my SOUL family? What does this mean for me and our little family? Will my daughter hate me? Or will she be able to forget?

Breaking myself open AGAIN. This is what that looks like right now:  “I NEED to open my heart in order to receive what I want. I NEED to be seen in who I AM in order to call in more of my tribe. I NEED to do this thing (which I’ll reveal soon) that will set my soul ON FIRE!!!”

And reconnecting the dots of my own soul and Spirit.

And in doing so, I’ve reclaimed most of my power back.

I’ve finally found boundaries that work for me.

I’ve found new ways to take care of myself.

I’ve found strength. Wisdom. And gentleness inside that I knew existed, but was covered up for fear of being seen. (The emotional neglect and abuse part.)

I was hiding underneath everyone else’s perceptions of me. Who I HAD to be in order to get my needs met for that amount of  time in my life.

Now, I see.

I see all the ways in which this conditioning has hurt me.

I see the ways in which my heart had to stay closed.

And in order to move forward, and really SERVE in the way I’ve been wanting,

I’ve  had to set MYSELF free!

And it took these 3 things to get there.

1) Worthiness– feeling worthy enough to receive the life I dreamed. A fun, easy going, emotionally intelligent, loving life. I had to BELIEVE with ALL of my being I was WORTH it. And I am.

2)Confidence– I had to stand STRONG in my convictions of worthiness even in the deepest darkest of times and in the thick of situations, I had to CONFIDENTLY stand up for what is TRUE for ME.

3)Self-Love– I’ve had to love ALL these unloved parts of myself. I’ve had to learn. I’ve had to SEE how my thoughts influence my reality and how I’ve played a part in EVERYTHING. I’ve had to love it. Thank it. And let it GROW. I felt WORTHY enough to do that. I felt WORTHY enough to deeply love and appreciate myself.

If I didn’t have these things, I wouldn’t have had the courage to give myself the type of FREEDOM I was looking for. The type of FEELING GOOD that I was WANTING for myself and what I wanted for us a family of three to experience on the DAILY!

And as long as I’m giving myself what I am worth, I’m GOOD. SO GOOD!!!!!!

Even in my own relationship with my husband, I can’t worry about making him happy. He has his own path to walk and if we can do it together AMAZING! STUPENDOUS!!! even.

But if I’m NOT giving myself what I am worth, then I know I will be in suffering.

I’ll fall out of alignment with my truest Self and that’s when life becomes HARD.

There multiple layers as to WHY I am so passionate about working with mothers but for the most part, it’s because I’ve been so disempowered and I have risen from the deepest of the deep, that I know what it feels like to find my own light without the love nor support of my very own family. And my mission is to reconnect us all back to that within our own conscious families. 

This has ALSO required me to let go of multiple roles and rules to life that I grew up knowing.

It was the type of program running in my head that  had me putting everyone else’s needs and wants before my own.

It was limiting behavior to keep me small and out of my own light.

Rules  like:

Like I HAD to sit still in my chair when eating

I COULDN’T let myself be silly with my child and LIKE it!

I couldn’t PLAY and be happy.

And I HAD to anticipate the needs of somebody else to make them happy (the trauma of abuse)

I HAD to walk on eggshells around everybody to ensure my physical and emotional safety

I HAD to do EVERYTHING right in order to be seen as a “good girl”! (even though there was no pleasing anybody)

But those rules no longer apply here!!!

That was  just what my brain was telling me.

I’m restructuring and reestablishing habits, emotion patterns and cycles that ACTUALLY serve me in my heart desires and moving forward into the light of my truth and SHOWING UP as my whole Self.

It’s not easy.

But I know anything is possible through Trust and Faith.

I am limitless!

And so are you.

You know, I ask myself everyday now “is this serving me? Or am I busy pleasing somebody else?”

We are hardwired  to please others. Especially as a baby.

We have to ensure our very survival.

So as an adult it can be hard to let go of those very things that kept us going and alive for all of those years, and behaviors, patterns and cycles that no longer SERVE us as we want to reconstruct and rebuild a life that we LIKE and FEELS GOOD to US!

It can be scary, hell even terrifying to establish these new ways of being.

But that’s what it’s all about.

That’s how we evolve. THAT’S how we grow.

“What do cycles and patterns look like within your family unit? How can we identify them to move forward and do the work to break them if they are no longer serving us?” You ask.

The perfect example of this is through the movie Coco.

Coco LOVES and wants to be a musician but his family has banned ANY type of music because of the relationship Coco’s great great grandfather and great great grandmother had together.

His great great grandma felt abandoned by her musician husband and when the truth was uncovered (spoiler alert) that he was murdered, they could move on and ALL live happily ever after

But UNTIL Coco came along, everyone was in the pattern and emotional cycles of NOT allowing music within the family, at the detriment of their growth as Coco came along.

We let so much of the past inform our future.

Please, let us ALL break free from that.

To learn about how we can work together on rebuilding,

or stepping into more of your own light for yourself and your conscious family, please see me here by scheduling a FREE connecting Zoom video meeting!

Or visit the YouTube Channel or learn more on the blog about how we can get started.

Subscribe to my email newsletter for weekly, up to date information.

Thank you so much for being here and seeing me through my own transformation.

I can’t wait to reveal more of how I’m moving forward into my light!

 

Calling My Power Back Into Me

These were a series of Instagram and Facebook posts dated December 18, 2018 Two weeks after the actually healing ceremony took place.

I got the download seemingly “out of nowhere” but it actually makes a lot of sense because I was about to sit in meditation with a mentor and friend that night. “You’ve been giving yourself away,” they said. jewlery

“SHIT, I HAVE BEEN! All those discounts, all those sales, ALL THE FREEBIES! Shiiit.” I took a deep breath moment stared out my windshield blankly and somehow the numbers on the parking meter caught my eye.

“884, ha!” I said aloud to myself, “ OF COURRSEE!!” That set of numbers had been haunting me for weeks.

I looked up the Spiritual meaning and it means being in between, half way in, one foot in the door basically.

“Ha!, ok! I GET IT!, but how much do I charge? And what does that look like? How do I DO IT without over exerting myself or giving too much away again AND juggling my family?!?”

I sat and listened but nothing, it was time for me to go. 


So I went, and I sat there and our guide asked us what we wanted for the new year. It came my time to share.

“WHY I am SO AFRAID of what I WANT! WHY!! Why Have I been working SO HARD and seen nothing?! I mean I know there was more Spiritual clearing to do but WHY am I SO afraid to move forward now?!? Is this a past life thing? Because it doesn’t FEEL like mine,” I said, freaking out at my declaration and where I was internally.

“Yes, it is,” she replied and the next thing I know we were in Ceremony.

I had a dream of healing this past life that we had entered into through meditation, and realizing it WAS having me feel SO AFRAID of what I’ve been wanting BEFORE I even REALIZED that it was indeed holding me back for certain! 


Before all that, a week before this day, I had a REALLY lovely dream one night, sleeping cozily in my bed next my husband and baby, that I was a medicine man. 


It felt very #Lemurian, carrying around a basket of herbs going town to town looking to heal different communities. 


Several communities closed the door on me, thanking me but they were all ok, but finally one let me in. 


As I walked through their gates I was immediately drawn to this beautiful bright and big mountain calling to me,

welcoming me and smiling at me. 


And I as I looked into it, it was calling me home, and I had these immense feelings of deep gratitude, beauty, joy, pleasure, sensuality and success!

And my Self Worth was BEEMING as I was staring at this seeming human-like mountain. 


And then I woke up. And wondered wth that dream could possibly mean. 
So I asked my guides everyday after that to take me back to that place in my dreams so I could figure it out, but they never did. Until that day I was meditating with my mentor. 


It was horrific that time. 


I was Panicked induced and incredibly afraid and worried. 


I felt lost, alone, afraid, confused in this past life moment in time. 


Shit. Shit. Shit. As this man in this past life Ceremony, I scurried, looking,

looking, TRYING to get to the mountain is front of us… no luck… no success..

I was crying uncontrollably in real life, fear shaking me from within, getting ready to leave. 


This was a past life journey. I had to fix it. I had to correct it. I had to let him know he was ok, loved supported and that I forgave him! 


I did! Oh good lord I did!!!!! You CAN make mistakes! You ARE SAFE!! You ARE loved and SUPPORTED! And an INCREDIBLE POWERFUL HEALER YOU AREEEEE!!!!! I LOOVEEEEE YOOUUUUUUUUU SOO SOOOOO

MUUUCHHHHHHHH I sobbed and shook and cried and screamed and told him he was ok to leave. And he did.

He went into the light

Gaining My Power Back has been liberating on multiple levels

peacefully and blissfully full of love and life, happiness, tenderness, compassion and grace.

Ease was in his mind and his heart. He was saved! 
We saved him from himself. 


The torture and self imposed agony on not being able to find the herbs he needed to save his sons life. 


And He was redeeemed! 
I was redeemed! 


I was given back my power, (his power) my ease, (his ease)!my grace, (his grace) my status, (his status) my pleasure, (his pleasure) my joy, my happiness, my love, my life, my light, my peace, it’s all mine again! And His too! 


But that’s no where this story ends for me.

There’s STILL a lot of work to be done. 
NOW more than EVER people are waking up in droves needing clarity, direction, clearings, Healings etc ect 


In my own healing that day (see parts one and two of the story in my feed) I found my worth, my value, my confidence and unlocked my power and strength, gained clarity and courage. 


I am NOW moving forward with plans I set out to do earlier this year! ✨🙌💪🙏🏼💕✨👽💖💫😎 I’m brining BACK Magic Mentorship in its originality. 
I’m hosting Magic Mommies MeetUp every month to help build community together

AND I’m creating content that I think you will like that can help relate Spirituality back into your very OWN life and healing for you and your families! 


Because there are codes built into ALL of us waiting to be unleashed ONCE WE DO THE HEALING that’s available to us! 


And that requires anchoring it in. Giving it time. And blessing its very existence! 


We ALL have incredible gifts, insights, talents that we ALL could use together! This is a VERY powerful time my friends! 


And it’s my passion, purpose AND PLEASURE to be facilitating these types of Healings FOR YOU! 


So here I am. 


Standing in my power, DOING the things now. Because I’m no longer carrying around all that pain from lifetimes ago. 


Please, never hesitate to reach out to me if ANY of these things resonate, if you FEEL this deeply in your body or if you’re WANTING to gain more information for yourself on your own journey. 
We can’t do it alone.

Please stop by the website and reach out to me with your beautiful story.

Because through you we can all heal a little ourselves.

NOW Booking a 6 Week Healing Intensives!

If you’re wanting to find a tribe of other Mommies who are experiencing the same healing,

come play with us at the Magic Mommies Monthly MeetUp! Stay connected through email newsletters for more up to date offerings and happenings.

Hit SUBSCRIBE on the Youtube Channel for MORE up to date information and fun informational Spiritual Healing videos.

Sat Nam.